just be justin.
I'm one of those people that will probably drive you crazy. I know who I am and who I want to be in the future. I know what I want to be, I know who I want to be with, and I know what I want to have. I'll fight you till the give up because I think in my own way, hence I am always right. I will badger you until you give me the answer I want, because I know that the first answer that comes out of your mouth isn't the only one. I am not awkward at all, and I hate people who think they are. I don't want anything other than maybe some money to pay for Med School. Cause when it comes down to it, I really do have all that I need.
Light Minds, Heavy Hearts
Day Two: Nine things about yourself.
1. I think im fat
2. Id give anything to get a new left arm
3. I honestly love volleyball, I’m not just doing it to be cool or play on a team
4. My sister IS my best friend
5. I would jump in front of a car to save my dog
6. Music is everything to me
7. I want to be a pediatric nurse.
8. I have clammy hands
9. Ive been abused.
Day One: Ten things you want to say to ten different people right now.
1. I’m in love with you. And I know I’ve said to other people that I’ve been in love with some other guy, but I was wrong. I am so in love with you. The moment I met you I knew. I can’t even begin to describe it. I honestly never thought that you could feel so much for one person. The tiniest things make my heart warm. How you have three “levels” of smiles. Your level one: hi, I’m not listening but i’m going to smile and pretend i am. Your level two: I’m happy and i’m smiling. Your level three: I’m so fucking happy, and i’m going to smile until my eyes crinkle. The way you play with my nails when you hold my hand. How you NEVER shut up around me, but when my friend walks in you get quiet and hide in the backround. How you don’t bitch when I’m grumpy. How you act like your six even though you’re seventeen. You’re affectionate. You don’t mind holding my hand in front of people, hugging my waist in front of people. How you actually want your friends to meet me. I Could go on and on and on. I just want you to know that I will never do anything to intentionally hurt you. I will never cheat or lie. I will do everything in my power to keep this relationship going because I love you.
2. Please stop. Look, I’m already crying and ive only got one line down. I love you so much. You’ve been my bestfriend, my cousin, we’ve known eachother forever. We live aorund the block from eachother. We are the defintion of best friend. But you are ruining your life. Everyday I see you try, and i give you credit for that. but you always go back. always. i don’t want to be in the hopsital with you when youre thirty waiting for the doctor to tell you how serious your lung cancer is. i dont wanna come bail you out of jail because you got busted at a banger for drinking. i dont want you getting so high you dont remember anything that you do. and i do not want to see you holding a pregancy test with a postive on it. even thought i would be there for you through all of it. it would kill me. the life style you lead now might be fun, but it doesnt last. and you wont last either. and i want you to know how much it kills me to see you do this to yourself. but i also want you to know no matter how much shit you get yourself into, i’m here. im always here. i’m never goign to leave you.
3. mommy. i’m sorry.
4. why wont you ever hug me back?
5. my cousin, my love, my everything. theres nothing i have to say to you that you dont know, but i love you
6. stop cutting your hair. you used to be beautiful.
7. i dont hate you
… thats really all i have to say,
Day One: Ten things you want to say to ten different people right now.
Day Two: Nine things about yourself.
Day Three: Eight ways to win your heart.
Day Four: Seven things that cross your mind a lot.
Day Five: Six things you wish you’d never done.
Day Six: Five people who mean a lot (in no order whatsoever)
Day Seven: Four turn offs.
Day Eight: Three turn ons.
Day Nine: Two smileys that describe your life right now.
Day Ten: One confession.
And even if we never talk again, please remember that I am forever changed by who you are and what you meant to me.
I almost forgot.
Giuseppe D’Arancio.
Just that name.
Shit man, I get hot down my spine.
It always comes back to him, doesnt it?
So much has happened. So much that I’m literally bubbling inside just trying to think about it all.
Louie is out. Turns out he only wanted one thing, Go figure. I Should have realized it when he told me not to come over when I had my “lady gift”. He never wanted to have conversations with me. He never just pecked me on the lips, never just held me hand. He would always go for tongue, or down my pants, or up my shirt. So I ended it. I don’t even miss him.
The other big thing is well.. Shawn. I saw him. We hung out. As friends. For the first time ever. I haven’t seen him since August of 2009. We talk regularly now. He’s gonna call me tonight. I’m glad I have him back.
someone told this kid Lou, (who none of you know bc i never talk about him on here) that i blog about him all the time… and i was like, ONE quit stalking me (though i dont know who the hell told him) and two.. no i don’t. so i went back and looked…
and i dont. never.
i dont think ive ever mentioned him other than this post right here…
so, im confused.
you think you’re ugly
And you’re right, you have a black heart, and no pretty eyes or nice smile can hide that.
Never in my life have I been so happy to hear shawns voice
